Parents often ask me questions that start like this:
How do I get my child to ?
Be polite be considerate be generous share etc.
Regardless of what fills in that blank, part of my answer is always the same:
you dont have to get your child to do anything!
Instead, you can show him or her by living your own life as an example, and making sure to notice and respond positively to any movement he or she demonstrates in the desired direction. I noticed how you looked right into Aunt Sallys eyes as you answered her question. Most people really appreciate that!
In addition to modeling the desired behavior, I also recommend role-playing mock scenarios with puppets or dolls. Kids are very quick to pick up social norms when they dont feel as though they are being lectured or judged. Puppets are fantastic for circumventing possible defensive responses. Telling make-believe stories about an animal character learning the lesson you want your child to absorb is also very effective.
Finally, please make sure you are treating your child the way you want him or her to treat others. As the timeless poem reminds us children learn what they live!
Karen Alonge is an intuitive life coach and parenting consultant with 20 years of experience helping families with all types of challenges. She offers consultations by phone, email, and IM. Clients often notice dramatic changes in their daily experience after only one session. Please visit www.karenalonge.com for more information.
